Dungeons & Dragons 5e Monster : Joe Dirt
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Joe Dirt CR: 8
Small construct, neutral
Armor Class: 18
Hit Points: 170 (20d8+80)
Speed:
30 ft
STR
18 +4
DEX
12 +1
CON
18 +4
INT
10 +0
WIS
14 +2
CHA
10 +0
Saving Throws: Con +7, Wis +5
Skills: Athletics +7, Perception +5
Damage Resistances: bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical weapons; force
Damage Immunities: poison, necrotic
Condition Immunities: poisoned, charmed, frightened, paralyzed
Senses: blindsight 30 ft., tremorsense 30 ft., passive Perception 15
Languages: Understands Common and Sylvan, communicates via Veil-link
Challenge Rating: 8
( 3900 XP)
Proficiency Bonus: +3
Traits
- Iron Root Limbs. The golem’s reinforced arms and legs increase its carrying capacity and striking force. Its melee attacks deal an extra 1d6 damage.
- Pocket Dimension Storage. The golem can store up to 10,000 lbs. of material in a personal extradimensional space accessed via its torso. Retrieving or storing an item takes a bonus action.
- Healing Moss. As a bonus action, the golem can restore 2d8 + 4 hit points to itself or an adjacent creature. It has 3 charges per long rest.
- Veil Link Processor. The golem can telepathically connect with its bonded master within 1 mile. This grants advantage on Perception checks made to detect threats while within that range.
- Windmill Core. While in windy conditions (outdoors in storms, near cliffs, or magical winds), the golem regains 5 hit points at the start of its turn.
- Immutable Form. The golem is immune to any spell or effect that would alter its form.
Actions
Multiattack. The golem makes two Slam or Seed Pod attacks. Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 15 (2d8 + 4) bludgeoning damage. Seed Pod Launcher. Ranged Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, range 30/90 ft., one target. Hit: 13 (2d6 + 4) bludgeoning damage. On impact, the pod bursts into entangling vines. The target must succeed on a DC 15 Strength saving throw or be restrained until the end of its next turn.
Reactions
Guardian’s Interpose. When a creature within 10 ft. of the golem is hit by an attack, the golem can impose disadvantage on that attack roll.
The Veil-Touched Grass Golem is no longer a simple construct—it has grown into a walking fortress of roots, moss, and living wind. Its chest houses a vast pocket dimension where its master can store weapons, supplies, or even entire carts. In battle, it launches explosive seed pods that root enemies in place, while its moss patches provide life-saving healing. The hum of its windmill core whispers as its blades turn, drawing in natural and arcane energy alike, while the Veil-link processor binds it to its master’s mind—making it not just a servant, but an extension of their will.
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by 3 Armored Kittens · Prodromos v.1.1 - World Anvil 0.9.15.045 © 2017-2025 [en] | Anvil Time: 06:58, Aug 23 2025