Cthulhu had a productive meeting the previous night with the three men that Victoria had shown in. It was surmised quite simply as the coalition of the three religions, each choosing to elect a one-head leader, resulting in The Pope, The Imam, and The Rabi. The three men had all come with one simple question, and each left, refusing to believe what Cthulhu had told them. 

The question had been simple; it seemed that Cthulhu had shown enough of his abilities that no one questioned whether he was a God. Instead, they questioned if he was their God. All three of them asked, "Where is our God?"

Cthulhu smiled at the three men as they waited for an answer. "Well, first, let me explain that there is not a god for every religion. As a matter of fact, the idea that a single race would develop so many religions is a feat previously unheard of throughout the multiverse. But to answer your question, I don't know. After creating what would eventually become Humanity, the being that you call God, Allah, or any of a thousand other names that have come and gone is nowhere to be found. I assume that he is dead." This caused the expected outrage, and Cthulhu let them have a moment to compose themselves.

"Now, I want to ask you all a question," Cthulhu said, and the three men looked up at him with tears in their eyes. "What do you want from your respective representations of God that I can not give you?" 

This stopped the men cold, their minds racing. Charles, The Pope's representative, spoke first. "The Bible tells us that good deeds are rewarded by eternal life in the kingdom of heaven."

"Well, that is a twisted way to indicate what would have happened," Cthulhu said, looking at the humans before him. "Tell me, where do you think that gods get their power?" 

The three men looked at each other, then The Imam's representative, Arman, spoke. "Well, they are Gods, so I would assume their power is absolute; it is as much a part of them as blood is to us." The other two nodded in agreement with this.

"You would be wrong," Cthulhu said. "Power for Gods, at least Gods as you think of them, is derived from the power of the faith of their followers. So the more followers, and the stronger the faith of their followers, the more powerful the God. This has led to a pattern of Gods and Goddesses creating species in a way that demands a figure to be worshiped." 

"That is impossible." The Rabbi's representative, David, said. "We would never have taken to believing a cruel God such as that!" 

"Ha!" Cthulhu barked a short laugh. "You would not have had a choice. It would have been as much a biological imperative for you as Oxygen is. And even those few that did refuse, the Betrayer would have simply killed, labeling them as heretics and using them as an example of what happens to those who do not follow their God's will." Cthulhu realized they could not understand this as it was so innately against everything they believed.

"Long story short, the actions that I took to end a species that I saw as nothing more than faith generators without a deity to uphold failed." Cthulhu looked each man in the face. 

"But you humans surprised me; you fought to survive, even after I took the garden world that the Betrayer had found to house you as your first world and acted upon it in ways that Gods could never understand; you struggled, constantly finding new and better ways to survive and adapt to the harsh conditions I imposed on you. Think of it like this, The Betrayer created the iron ore and found the blueprint for a smithy. I constructed the Smithy and tossed the iron ore in, wanting to dispose of it, and what flowed out was gold. Gold that shaped itself into a most beautiful piece of art."

"So you are what then?" David asked.

"Yes, you talk as if you are not a God, yet you say you acted to change the planet itself to harm us," Charles said in concurrence with David.

"What am I," Cthulhu said and slouched into his chair. "To put it into terms that I would hope you can understand. I am creation, or more accurately, everything that A God is not. Gods can create life, but they cannot create stars and planets; Gods can implant Ideals, and I can give creativity and ingenuity. I am what is left of beings so ancient and powerful that even the Gods of the current age have no names for us, Beings that would create entire universes simply to pass the time. Beings who fought wars on a scale that would shatter your mind and against enemies that would wipe out every known race and God in the course of a week. I am the last of my kind because I was the strongest."  

"What does that mean for us?" Arman asked quietly. 

"It means that humanity has on its side a power the likes of which the multiverse has forgotten existed," Cthulhu said, smiling at the man. "I am not the God who made you, and I realize that I am probably not the God you wanted, but I am the God you have; I am Humanity's second God. As far as an afterlife, I do not impose rules; humans are so good at that on your own." Cthulhu finally answered their question.

"What does that mean?" Charles asked. 

"When you die, you will be granted what is essentially a pocket dimension," Cthulhu began explaining, thinking fondly of the humans who used this system he had developed to its fullest, "in that dimension, you have absolute power; if you wish to create a steampunk world where everything is clockwork, it will be so. If you wish to simply live quietly with your family, it will be so. As far as rules, doing evil deeds stains the soul; when you die, the soul must confront its own reality. Someone unfaithful to their spouse will be tantalized by their creations, doomed to never find a fulfilling and faithful rest. Someone who is a murderer will continually find their companions murdered in front of them. The darker the stain, the darker the afterlife." 

"That is," Charles thought for a moment, "That is shockingly fair." 

"I like to think so," Cthulhu said and then spent the next hour discussing what the three faiths wanted, and they asked what he wanted. They left, and Cthulhu thought it was a very productive meeting. He smiled directly into the hidden cameras on each man's lapel before they left. 

Cthulhu looked up into the sky from the roof of the church of the faith, where he had been reminiscing about the meeting and thousands of other things, and knew that today would be different. It would be a turning point for Humanity.

[Victoria’s home]

When she woke, Victoria rolled out from under the arm of Ted. They had gone to dinner the night before after leaving Cthulhu to the three religious men. The diner had been interrupted by heavy petting, which quickly resulted in the two of them leaving and going to Victoria's house. When they arrived, Ted had demonstrated that those muscles were not just for show, and Victoria had shown that she "knew how to drive stick." As Ted had put it. 

Victoria quickly jumped into the shower and was joined halfway through by Ted. "Morning." He said.

"Good morning." She smiled at him, and they lathered each other playfully. "So, what's the plan now?" Victoria asked as Ted slipped behind her to reach around her, running soapy hands over every inch of her body. 

"Well, that depends on you," Ted said, teasing her. "I could return to my hometown and live the rest of my days there. But this lovely little thing here in D.C. seems to have my full attention." 

Victoria gasped as he slipped inside her, hot water rolling over them. "Really?" She panted. "She must be one hell of a woman." Victoria teased and rocked back on him. 

"Oh, she is; see, she does this thing with her hips…." Ted trailed off as Victoria's phone, resting on a small shelf outside the shower, rang. Ted beat her to the punch and grabbed it, handing it to her, not letting her pull away from him.

"Hello?" Victoria asked, suppressing a moan as Ted rocked inside her. "What?!" She exclaimed in a tone that Ted knew meant fun time was over. "I'll be right there." She glanced back at Ted. "Actually, I'll be there in twenty." She put the phone back and turned to Ted. "Okay, space cowboy, time for one more ride before we go to the Whitehouse."

Ted's eyebrows raised questioningly, but he didn't struggle as she pulled him from the shower, pushed him back onto the bed, and climbed on top. "I think this is the hip thing you were talking about?" Victoria asked. 

[Whitehouse Washington D.C.]

Thirty-five minutes later, Ted, Victoria, and Cthulhu, who had been waiting for them at the gates of the Whitehouse, walked into the Oval Office. "Ah, there he is." The President said, stepping forward to Ted. "Welcome home, son." The President shook his hand.

"Glad to be home, sir." Ted said stiffy. He had never liked the President, as one of his friends worked with the secret service and had told him just what kind of man the President was.

"Mr. President," Cthulhu said, stepping forward. "What caused you to contact the three of us." 

"Well, we received a message about two hours ago and verified it…." The President began explaining.

[Two hours prior, Earth Orbit]

The leader of the In'Quinar expedition to Earth could hardly believe his eyes. The world before them should surely be barren, suitable for orbital mining drone insertion only with its insanely high gravity and shifting temperature, continents that floated freely on the planet's mantle. 

Yet there it was on the screen, Billions of life forms that fit what the Goddess had described as Humanity, with countless trillions of other lifeforms ranging from deep-sea creatures to huge creatures roaming the plains. In short, the world was a death sentence for any of the other known races. 

The Priestess of the Goddess, Kuillana, reached out, using her divinely granted ability to contact other priests, and found nothing. "I can not contact the priest or priestess of their God."

"Well, we kind of expected that." One of the scientific advisors said and began tapping away at the console in front of him. Gillnesh was young but also one of the most accomplished technicians in the In'Quinar race. In moments he had identified and prepared to broadcast on all frequencies available to this world's receivers. "On you, Kuillana," Gillnesh said, gesturing to the comms panel on their ship.

"Greetings, people of Earth," Kuillana said, reading from a prepared statement. "I am a Priestess of the Goddess Ivarna; we are seeking an audience with the priest or Priestess of the God known as Cthulhu. Our Goddess would seek an audience with Cthulhu himself. Please respond on this frequency if you receive this." 

What they got back was an inundation of responses. Gillnesh filtered out most of them but closed in on four frequencies, all asking for authentication codes and demanding that they get off this channel. Kuillana read the statement once again, this time recording it and having it play on a loop, filtering through the library of language codexes they had and one that the Goddess herself had provided. 

[Whitehouse, Washington D.C.]

"So that is where we are at." The President said his advisors had filtered in and were waiting to see the response. "We wanted to get your feedback before we took action." The President said dismissively. As they spoke crews around the country were preparing ICBMs to launch and destroy the craft.

"Take action?" Victoria asked. "Excuse me for pointing out the obvious, but it is me that they have asked to speak to, not you. Why are you taking action?" 

One of the advisors stepped forward. "Ma'am, this information has been deemed classified and has nothing to do with you, so we will act as we see fit. Our threat assessment is that this could be a precursor move to an invasion or a scouting part to see how we respond." 

"Exactly," the President said, all too eager to get one over on Victoria, "we need to show these aliens that they have come to fuck with the wrong world." 

"Well, then I will be sending my own message back," Victoria said in a huff and turned to leave, only to have a large Secret Service man step in front of her.

"Hey, Jefferson," Ted said, stepping up next to Victoria.

"Ted?" The man said, smiling. "Holy shit, man, good to see you." He shook hands with Ted.

"Good to see you too, man; why don't you pay me back for that favor in Bagram and just let her go. In fact, why don't you make sure she gets out unmolested?" Ted said, and Cthulhu smiled as the color visibly drained from Jefferson's face. 

"Children, Children, why don't we make this easier," Cthulhu said, raising his hand and simply snapping his fingers. "Mr. President, I happen to know this Goddess and think that this would be an excellent time to let Victoria take the lead; on top of that, you will find that every nuclear launch silo capable of launching anything into space has suffered some kind of malfunction and will not be operational for the foreseeable future. This goes for your allies and enemies as well." 

"Why you fucking…" The President was angry again and was cut off by Cthulhu, giving him a look that chilled the room by several degrees. 

"You fucking what, Mr. President?" Cthulhu asked and then turned to the room. "Gentlemen, I don't know how many of you have been bought and paid for by this sad example of humanity, but I would suggest, for your own good, that you begin the impeachment proceedings as soon as possible, or better yet, kill him and have done." Cthulhu's tones had dropped from his human-sounding voice to the deep bass of his natural voice that seemed to rattle skeletons.

"Now, play nice with the other kids Mr. President," Cthulhu said, smiling a soul-crushing grin at the man and waving his hand. A portal appeared in the middle of the room, and Cthulhu ushered Ted and Vicotria through. 

When they stepped out, the three of them were on the moon. "What the fuck." Ted said, moving as if to step back through the portal. 

"A moment if you please, Ted," Cthulhu said and closed his eyes, and then after a moment, he thrust his hands out; from where Chtulhu stood, air, grass, trees, and a multitude of other things flooded forth like an unstoppable wave.

The moon was transformed from a dull grey wasteland into a vibrant forest with vast clearings in only three minutes. Cthulhu looked down and smiled as if reminiscing. He knelt, placed a hand on the grass, and then spoke to himself. "Seeing you as you were meant to be is good." 

"What the hell?" Ted said, looking around and then up in the sky, where he could see the Earth. 

Victoria had fallen to her knees. It would have been washed away if she had any doubt about Cthulhu. Tears streamed from her face, and she had no words to describe her love for her God. 

"Victoria, you know that won't do," Cthulhu said, waving a hand to produce a pitch-black handkerchief which he gave to Ted, pushing the man forward lightly with a gesture. "I loathe formality, and you have guests to entertain. I will inform them that this is the place and be back momentarily." Cthulhu simply vanished, leaving Ted and Victoria on the newly forested moon.

"He really is God," Ted said, looking around dumbstruck as he helped Victoria to her feet. 

"Yes, he is, and he is a God who did this simply to meet with another race," Victoria said, letting Ted support her still-weak knees. She dabbed her cheeks and eyes with the handkerchief and found it to be the softest, most absorbent piece of cloth she had ever held. "Do you see now?" She asked Ted, referring to a discussion between bouts of lovemaking the night before.

"Yes," Ted said, still at a loss for words, as he guided Victoria over to one of the trees and reached out to touch it hesitantly as if it would break. When it did not, he let her rest against it.

Moments later, Cthulhu reappeared and waved a hand, summoning a large circular table of dark matter that seemed to absorb the light, with chairs around it into a clearing that seemed to pop into existence. He took a chair, and Victoria took the one to his right, Ted sitting beside her. 

A few moments later, a ship landed, and fifteen beings with three legs walked out onto the moon's surface. 

"Welcome," Cthulhu said and stood, gesturing for one of the women to sit next to Victoria. "This is my High Priestess, Victoria; this is Kuillana, High Priestess of the Goddess Ivarna; you two will be in charge. Ted, if you would not mind, please act as Victoria's protector and proctor for this meeting?" Cthulhu asked, and Ted nodded. 

"Good," Cthulhu turned to address the rest of those taking seats, "Ted will act as an enforcer of my will, and Victoria will act as my will for this meeting. I will go to speak with your Goddess." He vanished once more.

Victoria and Ted looked at each other and then shrugged; Victoria turned to Kuillana, "Hello, Kuillana, did I say that right? My name is Vicotria; it is a pleasure to meet you." Victoria extended a hand to the woman, who looked as if she might faint. 

[In'Quinar Homeworld - Temple of the Goddess]

Ivarna was bathing. She had Gardened all night and needed to cleanse the dirt from her body. 

"Goddess Ivarna, the envoy you sent out has made contact. They…" Lettara broke off and screamed, a shrill scream of pure terror. Ivarna turned around quickly to see Lettara looking at a being that was humanoid in shape but dark as the most lightless night. 

"Hello, Ivarna," Cthulhu said, ignoring the screaming girl. "You wanted to talk?" 

"Yes, Lettara…" It took the Goddess a moment to get the attention of her aide when she finally did. "You are dismissed for the day; go home; I will be fine." For the first time, the young girl simply nodded and rushed out of the room. "Care to join me, Cthulhu?" Ivarna asked.

"May I assume my more natural form?" He asked, and Ivarna nodded. Cthulhu seemed to relax and shift forms from his humanoid one into a smaller version of the hulking mass of testicles and eyes that was his true form. "So, what was it that you wished to talk about. I am sure our children are fumbling through this first meeting like lovestruck toddlers." Cthulhu asked after he had sunk into the bath. 

"Last we spoke, you granted me a question and a favor. My question, you answered somewhat unfulfilling, but you left before I could ask my favor." Ivarna said, continuing to scrub her body. 

"True, I did not expect that to go the way I wanted quite as quickly as it did. So I wanted to leave before anyone caught on." Cthulhu said this as he produced a black cake of what Ivarna could only assume was soap and began to lather his own body, dozens of tentacles working in harmony to accomplish the task. 

"The way you wanted?" Ivarna said, shocked, then shook her head, regaining her compos